


Unspoken Words

by awildneko



Series: B.A.P Bingo Challenge Works [2]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 15:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4839902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awildneko/pseuds/awildneko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When will I be able to say them to you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unspoken Words

_“Here is the one you are to protect – the prince.” The senior guard explains, pointing out the young boy playing amongst the flowers to the 13 year old Yongguk. He cannot see them, so Yongguk takes a while to observe, a hesitant frown upon his face._

_The boy has a bright and sunny smile, but he looks a lot shorter and more fragile than Yongguk had imagined._

_“He’s only a few years younger than you, so the king is hoping that you will get along well.”_

_Yongguk’s frown deepens – he doesn’t want to be friends with such a small shrimp._

_Still, he can’t seem to take his eyes away from the smiling boy, who is now running haphazardly across the grass. All of a sudden he stumbles and falls, and Yongguk jolts, worry filling him. The boy does not cry, instead sitting back up on the grass with a small and cute pout. Yongguk relaxes at the thought that the other is okay, and continues to watch closely._

_The guard behind him laughs and pats his shoulder. “Looks like you already have the right instincts for the job.”_

_Yongguk doesn’t want to agree, but when the younger boy spots them both and waves with a cheery smile, he doesn’t stop himself from waving back._

 

~

 

“Yongguk, get your ass out of bed, you’re going to make us late for class again and I am NOT getting another black mark against my name because of you.”

Yongguk groans, throwing on the rest of his clothes before he trudges out to his flatmate. Parts of last night’s weird dream replay in his mind.

“Himchan, you know you don’t haaave to wait for me if it’s gonna stress you out so much.” He manages through a yawn – Himchan ‘hmph’s in response and shoves a piece of buttered toast in Yongguk’s open mouth.

“But then you probably wouldn’t turn up to class at all and would end up at the recording studio instead. Oh – that reminds me, that cute kid from down the hall – was it Jonghyun?”

“It’s Jongup.” Yongguk corrects him, sighing in exasperation as Himchan drags him out of the door. His flatmate was probably right though – left to his own devices his mind would always stray to music. Maybe he should change his major to music…

“Yeah well, whatever. Anyway he came around to ask if you could give his new recording a listen.” Himchan continues nonchalantly, handing over a disk decorated with cute writing.

Yongguk’s lips curve upwards just slightly, but Himchan’s sharp eyes can catch onto even those most subtle of movements. “Oh? Does someone have a little crush?” he teases, and Yongguk is quick to deny it.

“It’s just kind of cute how hard working that kid is. He really loves making music.” Yongguk shrugs, pushing his friend playfully.

They carry on like that until they reach class, which, thanks to Himchan’s efforts, they make it on time for.

It’s a boring class, primarily because the professor knows his subject well but doesn’t know how to teach it. Yongguk finds himself glancing towards Jongup’s CD. He brought his headphones, so he could take a listen.

Headphones subtly in place, he takes to the first track of the recording. Most of the songs have a similar tone to the ones Jongup has previously showed him. He tries his hand at rapping, and Yongguk likes the sound.

The fourth track, however, is distinctly different from the rest. It takes on more of a mellow and ballad like tone, and for the first time, features mainly the sound of vocals. The voice isn’t as powerful as his friend Daehyun’s or as husky as Youngjae’s, but there’s a distinct quality and pleasantness about it.

Is it Jongup singing with that soft and hypnotic voice? Yongguk wants to hear it more. It sounds almost familiar, but he can’t quite pinpoint where he’s heard such a voice before.

 

~

  
_“Yongguk hyung, wakeup!” the prince’s voice calls to him, shaking his arms as he tries to lift his friend from his deep slumber. Yongguk is already half awake, but he keeps his eyes shut, wanting just a few more minutes of sleep before he has to face the day. There’s a moment of silence, and Yongguk guesses that maybe the other has given up, but then an unexpected weight lands on top of him and he is definitely awake now. He sits up and stares at the prince, who for some unknown reason is already dressed and is sat on Yongguk’s legs looking quite proud of himself._

_“You’re awake now!” he grins, leaning close before exclaiming “Happy Birthday hyung!”_

_Ah yes. Yongguk is turning 16 today._

_“Wait a minute, don’t tell me you forgot about your own birthday!” the young prince complains, signature pout on his lips. He jumps up and drags Yongguk with him out of bed. “Hurry up and get dressed slow poke, I have something to show you!”_

_When the prince has finally left him to his own devices for five minutes, the guardsman changes into his day clothes and freshens up for the day. His birthday has never really been that memorable or important, but for some reason the younger boy still wants to celebrate. Yongguk simply lets himself be dragged along by the prince’s whimsical personality. He hates to admit it, but it makes things a lot more fun than they used to be._

_The prince drags him off towards the music room, and Yongguk frowns in confusion. “What are we doing here?”_

_The other just shakes his head and beckons him inside. “You’ll see!”_

_The prince pushes him to sit in a chair and steps back, standing with his back to Yongguk. “Just listen.”_

_And then he sings, his soft and expressive voice leaving Yongguk startled. He had no idea the prince had been learning to sing – he must have kept it hidden during the few times they are apart. He really is an interesting kid._

_Even though he cannot see his face, Yongguk can feel the pure emotion in the prince’s voice. Like bird’s song, his voice reminds Yongguk of Spring time, of cherry blossoms and sun filled skies. It’s addictive and creamy in texture, and the guardsman is tempted to have the prince sing to him every day._

_When the prince turns around, there’s an uncertain look in his eyes, his cheeks flushing pink. Yongguk is taken aback by the cuteness of it all and for some reason can’t seem to form a sentence._

_“H-how was it?” the other asks, shyly approaching, the confidence from earlier not to be found._

_“It was good.” Yongguk replies simply, though he wishes he could elaborate more about how he feels right now, but he wonders if words could truly express it._

_It seems to be enough for the prince however, as he beams, eyes crinkling into tiny crescent moons as he hugs Yongguk. “That…umm was your present.” He murmurs softly._

_It’s the best present Yongguk has ever received._

 

~

 

It takes Himchan accurately throwing his fourth paper ball at the back of Yongguk’s neck before he wakes up – in the middle of class! Not that it was rare for Yongguk to fall asleep in class (he stayed up most nights working on lyrics after all). It was just that it hadn’t felt like he’d been dreaming. Not really..maybe he’ll ask Himchan about it later.

Throughout the rest of the day he finds himself humming a melody that he can’t quite place.

 

There’s a museum in town that Himchan wants to go to for one of his class projects. Yongguk doesn’t know the details, because he stopped listening halfway through the elaborate explanation, but somewhere along the way Himchan successfully bribed him to tag along by offering to buy him a new record for his collection. And some gummy bears.

On their way out of the flat Yongguk catches Jongup in the corridor, proceeding to tell him how much he likes his new recordings – especially that one track with vocals on it. The other boy blushes at the compliment, bashfully admitting that it was his voice singing on the track. If he had a camera with him, Yongguk would surely take a photo of that cute expression. He tells Jongup to keep up the good work, and that he’d like to hear more of his voice later.

Himchan nudges his side suggestively as they leave, and Yongguk shuts the elevator doors on him in retaliation.

The museum is filled with an array of themed displays. Yongguk discovers almost all there is to know about historical representation of music in schools, before Himchan is dragging him away because ‘they’ll close soon if you don’t hurry’.

Himchan finally seems to have found what he is looking for, and Yongguk explores the area by himself, intrigued by the different weapons on display. One sword in particular catches his eye. It has a red hued jewel at the hilt, something that must be related to the family it was used to serve. He wonders what kinds of battles it might have been involved in, and who wielded such a mighty weapon. He peers a little closer to read the writing etched into the metal, a wave of dizziness spinning through his head.

 

~

 

_“The King is dead.”_

_The blood inside him drains from his skin. It takes one look from the maidservant for the truth to be confirmed, and it is then that waves of adrenaline begin to pulse through his body. As a personal guardsman, he must take action now._

_An assassin has just killed his king - the one Yongguk had pledged his loyalty to. His heart stings, but he cannot rest - the invading army must have infiltrated the castle by now, and Yongguk knows he has mere minutes before everything is lost. He has to keep the prince safe._

_With his trusted sword at his side, it is only instinct that guides him through silent corridors. He knows where the prince should be, but the feeling of dread that rises in his chest tells him to head the opposing direction – towards the Eastern courtyard. His senses are on high alert for any flicker of life at a time when most inhabitants should be sleeping._

_He definitely can’t be too late – failure is not an option. He wills his feet to move faster, faster, faster – why is he so far away?!_

_“Y-Yongguk!”_

_The winter air chills his skin as he leaves the warmth and comfort of castle walls, night trained eyes gazing through the almost pitch black sky and snowy landscape as he determinedly seeks out the owner of that distinctive voice, the one that called out to him in such desperation. The person he swore to love and protect._

_Several glowing torches draw his attention activity in the front courtyard. As another cry of fear erupts from the location, Yongguk increases his pace, heading straight for the source of commotion._

_As he arrives, several gathered guardsmen block his path, but Yongguk has already seen past them to his beloved. To the dishevelled boy pushed to the ground, wide and teary eyes searching for Yongguk. There is no hesitation in the guard’s movement as he drives his sword through the air and slashes those in his way._

_They block his path again, more of them this time, and although Yongguk could easily defeat them with the rage burning through his every vein, he chooses to take advantage of their pause. Although his heart aches for the boy’s pain, he cannot let personal feelings interfere with his concentration._

_“What is happening here?” he demands of them with eyes filled with fire, a deafening silence following until someone speaks. “We are the rebellion, and we are here to take back our kingdom.”_

_Yongguk recognises the voice as the King’s right hand man and friend, disbelief echoing in his gasp. He never thought such a man would betray the monarchy like this._

_The swords holding his prince to the ground anger him. Soldiers start towards him and Yongguk fights, but only enough to create an opening. In a determined leap, he reaches the young prince, stunning the soldiers holding him down and lifting the prince in his arms as if he were weightless. The soldiers attack again, but Yongguk’s priority is not to fight; he must get the prince to safety. Maybe luck and mother nature are on their side tonight, for at that moment a gust of wind blows snow into the air, masking their presence as the prince and his guardsman run._

-  
Yongguk awakens to the sound of voices in his flat. It takes a while for confusion to give way to reality. He guesses he must have passed out from that wave of dizziness at the museum. There’s a shiny green apple on his bedside table – looking at it, Yongguk can’t help but feel hungry. It must have been ages since he last ate. He wonders who the prince in his dreams could be - maybe it's someone he once met? They often say that people you've met only once can appear in your dreams, so it could pretty much be anyone, he supposed.

His bedroom door opens slowly, unsurely, a mop of brown hair peering round. “Oh, you’re awake.”

It’s Jongup, and Yongguk beckons him over to sit beside him. “Don’t look so worried – your expression makes it seem like I almost died or something.”

Jongup bites his lip and trudges over. He has a plate and a knife with him, and he uses them to prepare the apple for Yongguk. They both watch in silence for a few moments.

“I thought…well, I heard you had collapsed and I-I was worried so I came over to help.” He admits, hiding his reddened cheeks behind his hair. Himchan must be at class.

It’s simply too cute, and Yongguk finds himself reaching a reassuring hand over the other’s, preventing him from finishing cutting the apple.

“Thank you.” He smiles warmly over at Jongup. The younger smiles back, leaning over to shyly peck Yongguk’s forehead. “I heard that can help with the dizziness.” He murmurs shyly ¬¬¬¬¬as he settles back in his seat.

The kiss is a pleasant surprise, and once again Yongguk finds himself drifting off to dreams.

 

~

 

_He never once thought it would come to this, but now they are both fleeing for their lives from the place they once called home. The undergrowth within the castle gardens is not easy terrain to navigate, especially in the fallen snow, but if they can just make it out to the forest beyond, their attackers will find it more difficult to pursue them._

_The prince is at least a head shorter than Yongguk, and whilst holding his impractical royal night robes in his other hand, it is noticeably difficult for him to keep up. His grip around the prince’s hand is painfully tight, but the young man doesn’t complain. Instead he returns the hold with his own desperate grasp._

_Yongguk wants to reach out to him with words and assure his prince that he will never let go, but he cannot without risking giving away their position or losing his breath._  
_They’ve hardly said a word throughout the ordeal – Yongguk worries that the prince’s eerie silence might be more than shock and fear, and even if it isn’t, the outcome is already terrible for such a sheltered and innocent boy to have to endure._

_He senses the sound of a flying arrow mere moments before it hits them; he reaches for the prince and dives out of its path, his back taking a few scrapes from the rocky ground below. The prince’s stunned eyes and shivering figure send his heart throbbing in pain, and he curses those that would do this to him._

_He quickly begins to resume their run - their pursuers are gaining with every moment, and they must get away. But after the fall it is clear that both of them are stumbling more now, their tiredness kicking in. The prince stumbles on a tree root but Yongguk is not there to catch him, instead reaching out with both hands to pull into his arms._

_“Y-yongguk hyung.” The prince chokes out, breaking the silence between them. His skin is like ice, shivering from the freezing snow that had cushioned their earlier fall. He looks so frail and tired, the guardsman fears he will not be able to go on any further. But they must, and against protest from the prince, he rises to start them off on their trail once again._

_Arrows shoot past them at racing speed, but it is not until he hears the other’s loud gasp that Yongguk realises he has been hit in the leg. He stumbles more, but swears that he must keep going, shoving the prince in front of him to shield him from any blows. An arrow appears from a different direction, and then from in front of them and to their side. They’re surrounded from all sides and their chances are minimal._

_It seems that the prince also realises this, as he stops running and turns around to face Yongguk from in front – leaping close to wrap his arms around his personal guard and best friend’s waist. White snow covers the boy’s bed clothes, his long hair dishevelled from the braid he always ties his hair with when he sleeps. His expressive eyes are filled with tears, a tragically beautiful sight that Yongguk feels too guilty for ever allowing to exist._

_He had always hoped that he could preserve the smile that he had fallen in love with. Even without being asked, he would have protected the prince with his life – he always wondered if that’s why the king trusted him with the responsibility, but now he can’t help but question the choice._

_He can’t help the tears that fall from his own eyes as he pulls the boy close, cradling his head with gentle hands The water falling onto his shoulder feels painfully warm compared to the rest of his body – he can feel the sensation more than the fateful arrows piercing his body._

_It only heightens the guilt he feels for allowing this to happy. He’d failed both as protector and friend, as well a servant of the king. No matter how much he dreamed, he would never deserve love from the prince._

_So he would forget it all, because even after death he would not be able to cope with the guilt._

_“I love you, Jongup.” Is the last thing he whispers for the prince’s ears only, before they are torn apart from each other and from life._

~

  
“It’s you” he wakes up whispering, bolting up in his bed. He spots Jongup still sat beside his bed. The younger is now sleeping – he must have been sat there for the whole time that Yongguk slept.

There is no doubt that the person before him is his prince from the lifetime he had been dreaming about. But those weren’t dreams, they were memories….and though he’d vowed to forget, Yongguk is so thankful he can remember Jongup. Even if it pains him.

Memories of his other past lives follow, steadily filtering into his brain. It makes him feel a little lightheaded again. There’s four, six, ten…maybe more? Each of them different, but all have one thing in common. Jongup.

He wonders if Jongup remembers.

Yongguk holds onto Jongup until he wakes up. Sleepy eyes gaze up at the man before him, and Yongguk strokes his hair gently. “My prince.” The elder speaks softly, tentatively, and Jongup’s eyes widen. He sits up and stares at Yongguk, astonished. “W-what did you just say?”

Yongguk bites his lip, looking back at the younger and searching his eyes carefully. Even if Jongup remembered, maybe he couldn’t forgive him.

“My prince – I just remembered it all, our past life.”

Tears fall from Jongup’s eyes as he reaches forth..and slaps Yongguk. “Idiot! Idiot hyung!” Jongup collapses into the elder’s arms and cries with all his might, a fountain of tears that must have been building up for so long, over so many lifetimes.

“I waited for you, I was so happy to see you again, but you didn’t remember – you never remembered, b-but I kept trying, always hoping, because I wanted to tell you w-what I hadn’t got the chance to say back then!”

He looks up at Yongguk with those beautiful eyes, tearing up but smiling too. “And now you finally remember…I can say it. I love you too, idiot!”

 

Yongguk spends much of that lifetime trying to make up for lost time, and for the loneliness that he had unwittingly put Jongup through in the life cycles when Yongguk had left his memories behind. Jongup is simply relieved to finally have his Yongguk back completely (although he doesn’t mind all the extra effort his soulmate is putting into everything).

And when the time comes for them both to leave this lifetime and enter the next, neither of them are afraid. They will both find each other, as they always have, and this time Yongguk would remember everything.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Reincarnation prompt. I've been struggling with motivation lately, so I'm kind of amazed I managed to write this much! It feels a little rushed to me, but I think this is one of those instances where my idea was originally so much bigger than what I am capable of writing in this amount of time. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think!


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